Blames Firing on Jews, Romulans, Trilateral Commission

Cross-posted: Little Tiny Lies.

Unsatisfied with his new position as Middle East Correspondent for the Cartoon Network, "Baghdad Pete" Arnett has moved on to greener, if more arid, pastures. Today the Associated Press reported that he had finally done the inevitable, taking a job with an Arab network. Industry insiders regard the change as largely symbolic. Arnett has been working for Arabs for years; the only difference is that now they're paying him.

Arnett Learns of NBC Firing

When contacted by Little Tiny Lies, Cartoon Network CEO Snagglepuss refused to comment, muttering, "Exit, stage left." To his own reporters, however, Snagglepuss remarked that Arnett would be missed.

Cartoon Network CEO Snagglepuss: "Heavens to Murgatroyd! We'll be sorry to see Peter go! Leave, even!"

From here on out, Arnett will be reporting for Al-Arabiya, a Dubai-based satellite channel.

Demonstrating the disarming candor, keen perception, and rigorous objectivity for which Arab journalists have become legendary, Al-Arabiya's editor-in-chief Salah Nejm told the Associated Press, ''I think he is unbiased and has a lot of experience." Nejm went on to say that camels lay eggs, Iraq is actually a planet, and Dick Cheney can fly when no one is around to see.

Cheney: "You just have to think happy thoughts."