RAMALLAH (Command-Post.org) - Minister of Denial Mohammed Durka spent his first press conference vehemently denying his recent appointment as Minister of Denial.

"I am not the Minister of Denial!" shouted Mohammed Durka to reporters. "There is no such thing as the Ministry of Denial! We deny any and all reports of its existence or my appointment as its minister!"

According to reports from unnamed sources, all of which were denied by Minister Durka at the press conference, The Ministry of Denial was formed by Achmed Queri and Mahmoud Abbas after they agreed that there needed to be a central authority from which Palestinian denials were issued. Both were concerned about a lack of credibility of their joint temporary administration due to a wide range of conflicting press reports and denials from various sources within their administration.

By centralizing the denial process, they are hoping to restore credibility in their authority, which will be crucial when Palestinian Authority and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat is officially declared deceased.

Mohammed Durka is well-versed and experieced in the art of denial, having served at the United Nations as a cultural attache for several years. He then acted as a spokesman for Yasser Arafat's varied and diverse security organizations, all of which he regularly denied were involved in terror operations against Israelis.

When asked about his plan to contain the damage from conflicting reports regarding Arafat's near-death or his wife's refusal to allow PLO figures to ascertain the situation themselves, Durka denied any such plans existed. "There are no plans! There is no Ministry! There is no Minister!"