The Command Post
Iraq
January 15, 2004
Kerry Aborts Dean

Thank God it's Still the First Trimester of the Campaign

From Little Tiny Lies.

Zogby now says John Kerry's slimy tricks hard campaigning has worked, and Dean now trails him in Iowa. Tragic. I hope it isn't true. I was about to launch my "Republicans for Dean" site. I was really looking forward to seeing this guy debate Dub.

Dean: Americans don't need a President who's weak on security!

Dub: Roll the video of federal agents driving a Bradley Fighting Vehicle with Arabic markings past the sleeping guards at Vermont's only nuclear plant.

Dean: We don't need a President who is insensitive about race.

Dub: Roll the video of Dean's mom wearing her Chanel Imperial Wizard outfit.

Dean: We don't need a draft dodger in the White House.

Dub: Roll the video of Dean skiing after getting 4-F'd with a phony back ailment.

[Video rolls - we see Howard skiing down the slopes, waving a peace sign, wearing a shirt that says "Charlie Don't Ski."]

Dean: We don't need a snob in the White House.

Dub: Roll the video of young Howard forcing the servants to do his homework.

[Video rolls - we see a confused servant working on algebra while, in the background, Young Howard tap-dances up and down a set of stairs with Bill "Bojangles" Robinson.]

Bojangles: Yo' back sho' don't seem to hurt yo' tap-dancin' none, Massa Howard.

Dean: Like I said, vote for Bush.

It's amazing how liberals have turned on Dean. They're like shark pups, eating each other in the womb. Every day, we see a new negative story in the mainstream liberal establishment press. Is it because reporters are out there doing legwork, like they're supposed to? Of course not. Journalists are the laziest creatures in the universe. Reporters sit in their offices and let publicists feed them, and right now, flaks for all the Democrat candidates other than Dean are pumping them as full as pâté geese.

Supposedly, Kerry is behind a lot of it. Hey, I would be, too, if I had a multimillion-dollar mortgage riding on the race. Everyone who gets elected President ends up rich--independently so, not the way guys who marry ketchup heirs are rich--and Kerry knows that. It'll take longer to recoup that money as a mere Senator. Of course, he can always go home and earn the money lying on his back.

Posted By Steve H. at January 15, 2004 09:24 AM | TrackBack
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