You may read NJ’s Hotline Wake-Up Call! for free during the conventions here. It’s a great summary of news with a splash of irreverent fun, a sample of which I post below (today’s “Gossip Buffet”).

• Speaking to the Hispanic caucus, Al Sharpton tried to say “Yes, we can” in Spanish. But what he said means “Yes, we door” (Houston Chronicle).

• Teen daughter to her father in the security line yesterday eve: “I’ve never seen you wait in line before.” Father: “This is bigger than me, sweetie” (Wake-Up Call! sources).

• Richard Kind of “Spin City” fame was spotted on the 5th Floor concourse and then again wandering the streets of Boston outside “The Castle”, talking loudly, at 1:30 am (Wake-Up Call! sources).

• “I’ve been scared shi-less for the last 4 years” — Goo Goo Dolls lead singer John Reznick to lobbyists at “The Castle” (Wake-Up Call! sources).

• “Michael Moore is sitting next to Rosalynn Carter. Now what the hell is she talking to him about?” — an unidentified woman re: the fact that Moore was a guest in Carter’s suite at the Fleet Center, sitting between the Carters (Wake-Up Call! sources).

• KY Gov. Ernie Fletcher ® plans to appear on the “Tonight Show,” where Jay Leno suggested this state motto: “Kentucky: Got Teeth?” (Louisville Courier-Journal).

• “Because of the dark world of the Internet, I’m told there are now entire Web pages dedicated to my breasts” — Alexandra Kerry, in Harper’s Bazaar (AP).

• “1. Toilet paper, Kleenex 2. Cream and sugar, stir sticks 3. Wide variety of pop: (Diet Mt. Dew, please)” — wish list of donations in an email to supporters from the MN Kerry-Edwards camp (Wake-Up Call! sources).

• “If this keeps up, maybe they’ll start calling it Robertcbyrd.com instead of Amazon” — Charleston Daily Mail, on reviews of Sen. Robert Byrd’s (D-WV) new book.

• Monica Lewinsky “ordered a foot-long hot dog and gasped, ‘Oh my God!’ when the waiter placed the giant tube steak in front of her” (New York Post).

• Jay Leno: “At first Democratic Party officials were reluctant to allow Al-Jazeera in because they thought the coverage would be biased and hostile. And then they realized it couldn’t be any worse than Fox News” (“Tonight Show”).