The Kerry Sandwich:

White bread, with mayo!

Posted by: GDubya at April 29, 2004 06:20 PM

Kerry Campaigns With His Butler

Beacon Hill blue blood John Kerry likes to portray himself as the presidential candidate of the common man. But there’s one common man he finds indispensable on the campaign trail: his butler.

Like a scene out of the old British drama “Upstairs Downstairs,” Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant, Marvin Nicholson, by his side, ready to cater to his master’s every whim, according to the New York Times today.

“When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I’m ready,” Nicholson told the Times.

Of Nicholson’s omnipresence on the campaign trail, the paper noted, “Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to.”

Like any good butler, Nicholson comes to his job well prepared to serve the Boston Brahmin politico at a moment’s notice. Among the items Nicholson carries at all times:

• Loose change - apparently in case the husband of millionairess Teresa Heinz wants to leave one of his notoriously meager tips.

• Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels and Advil Sinus pills - lest continuing questions about his Vietnam War record give him a migraine.

• Swedish hand cream - because good old American-made Vaseline Intensive Care just isn’t good enough.

• Halls cough drops - in case the silver spoon in Kerry’s mouth begins to irritate.

• A ziplock bag with Kerry’s favorite PB & J sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.

• Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake [Kerry prefers strawberry], a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accoutrements that the hoi poloi who can’t afford a butler must provide for themselves.

And for catering to the candidate’s every whim, the fabulously wealthy Heinz-Kerrys pay Nicholson a wildly generous (by Kerry’s standards) $45,000 annually.

The snob

Posted by: Al-Lat at April 29, 2004 06:36 PM

Right now John Kerry reminds me of one of those medieval Irish manuscript illustrations where you’ve got an elaborately detailed snake that ties itself into seventy-five knots before eating its own tail.

Posted by: marymcl at April 30, 2004 12:17 AM

Associated Press stole this story off of Newsmax. Newsmax reported this 2+ weeks ago.

Posted by: Jeff MacMillan at April 30, 2004 01:14 AM

what! hanoi john el-kerry a hypocrit again?!!? He is like a dark-haired Fred from Scooby Doo. At least Gore had the jewish guy in there..

Senator Kennedy
senator AT kennedy.senate.gov
Phone 202-224-4543
Fax 202-224-2417

Senator Kerry
john kerry AT kerry.senate.gov
Phone 202-224-2742
Fax 202-224-8525

Posted by: hound at April 30, 2004 02:06 AM

Ah, good old Jessie Jackson has decided to flex his muscle and shove people around with the racism card, which the Bush Administration is delightfully immune from. Why? Because we’ve got Rice and Powell, two highly qualified black Americans. What the hell can Jessie say against Bush about this?

Screw Kerry. I just heard he’s not really Irish, he’s just been lying about it. Figures.

Posted by: Eric at April 30, 2004 09:13 AM

Wasn’t there a point during the debates when they were all tripping over each other to show a Jewish connection, and didn’t Kerry say something about one of his grandmothers having “Jewish roots”?

He really is shameless, even for a politician.

Posted by: marymcl at April 30, 2004 09:35 AM

Funny thing is Bush has the most diverse Cabinet in history. Colin Powell and Condi Rice are the highest ranking African Americans in government - ever. But my fellow Democrats always seem quick to call this window dressing and label Rice and Powell sellouts.

Posted by: KH at April 30, 2004 09:45 AM

That’s because Democrats are really just a collection of racists, both the black and white ones.
To black democrats, Powel and Coni aren’t really black. To white democrats, they can’t stand Powel and Codi being in those high power positions.
The Democrat party has become an assorted bag of nuts. You even have a bunch of druggies at DU calling Bush a drug addict. Imagine that.
You really can’t help but laugh at some of the things that come out of democrat land. It’s also scary, because they are serious!

Posted by: Al-Lat at April 30, 2004 11:17 AM

To run an effective campaign, you need to be able to seperate hype from fact. Sadly, the democrats seem instead to enshrine ever more hype and even less fact. That’s why there is really no intelligent option other then Bush, the dems have provided nothing but fear mongering and hate speech. When Kerry can stand up and articulate a plan for ending terrorism without mentioning where Bush has “Failed”, and without advocating retreat, I might listen.

Posted by: Brian at April 30, 2004 11:22 AM

The Demons are TOTAL RACISTS and have been for decades. The PRIME EXAMPLE is their support of killing “mostly black and brown babies”. I wonder of any of the Demons’ black or brown supporters have EVER looked at the number of black and brown babies their “white so-called friends” have secretly chortled about in their congressional and statehouse offices. I DOUBT It. Look at NOW…. you never find a black leader there, ever. Is there anyone with the intelligence to see that anywhere in the black community?

Posted by: leaddog2 at May 1, 2004 08:30 AM

The longer I listen to the Kerry campaign, diverse it gets.

Posted by: popd at May 1, 2004 09:08 AM

Apparently, Senator Windsock thought diversity was a function of how many opinions he could have on one issue.

As for the Democrats whining, don’t you remember why you picked this whining pussy of a “war hero”? Not because of what he stands for or believes (in retrospect, an impossibility), but because he’s ELECTABLE. Now it occurs to you he might not have the positions you want? This sounds a lot like Sgt Renault in Casablanca professing shock at discovering gambling go on at Rick’s while he’s being handed his winnings.

Posted by: TL at May 1, 2004 05:10 PM

I’m more than a little tired of members or the Republican attack machine like Jesse Jackson questioning my diversity when they have done everything in their power to avoid committing to diversity themselves. When’s the last time you saw Jesse Jackson retaining or hiring a white male heterosexual? How many Aleuts, Latinos or Native Americans has Mr. Jackson hired, except to serve as picketers while shaking down some poor, mostly white-owned corporation? Even the young employees he takes advantage of in fathering bastard children are uniformly African American females.

It’s time for Mr. Jackson to take a look in the mirror and question his own actions before questioning my commitment to diversity.

Posted by: JF Kerry at May 1, 2004 05:19 PM

In that list of stuff the butler carries for him, I don’t see lib balm. Whenever I watch Kerry speak, I can’t help but notice that he’s always licking his lips! Darting out like a snake, it’s gross.
Dude, get some carmex!

Posted by: coastygirl at May 2, 2004 06:12 AM

Ugh, that’s supposed to say LIP balm.

Posted by: coastygirl at May 2, 2004 06:14 AM

Gen. Giap Thanks Kerry & Co. for Anti-war Protests

Celebrating the 29th anniversary of the fall of Saigon, the North Vietnamese general who led his forces to victory said Friday he was grateful to leaders of the U.S. anti-war movement, one of whom was presidential candidate John Kerry.

“I would like to thank them,” said Gen. Vo Nguyen Giap, now 93, without mentioning Kerry by name. “Any forces that wish to impose their will on other nations will surely fail,” he added.

Reuters, which first reported Giap’s comments, suggested that the former enemy general was mindful of Kerry’s role in leading some of the highest-profile anti-war protests of the entire Vietnam War.

Before the British wire service quoted Gen. Giap, it noted:

“The Vietnam War, known in Vietnam as the American War, has become a hot issue in the U.S. presidential race with Democrat John Kerry drawing attention to his service and President Bush’s Republicans disparaging Kerry’s later anti-war stand.”

North Vietnamese Col. Bui Tin, who served under Gen. Giap on the general staff of the North Vietnamese army, received South Vietnam’s unconditional surrender on April 30, 1975.

In an interview with the Wall Street Journal after his retirement, Col. Tin explicitly credited leaders of the U.S. anti-war movement, saying they were “essential to our strategy.”

“Every day our leadership would listen to world news over the radio at 9AM to follow the growth of the antiwar movement,” Col. Tin told the Journal.

Visits to Hanoi by Kerry anti-war allies Jane Fonda and former Attorney General Ramsey Clark and others, he said, “gave us confidence that we should hold on in the face of battlefield reverses.”

“We were elated when Jane Fonda, wearing a red Vietnamese dress, said at a press conference that she was ashamed of American actions in the war,” the North Vietnamese military man explained.

Kerry did much the same thing in widely covered speeches such as the one he delivered to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in April 1971.

“Through dissent and protest [America] lost the ability to mobilize a will to win,” Col. Tin concluded.

Way to go, Kerry. Nice endorsment

Posted by: Al Uzza at May 2, 2004 11:47 AM

Democrats sure get a lot of support from minorities. Where is the pay off? They will point to some folks in Congress, but the community and the people elect those leaders.

Look at the Clinton administration. Where are the minorities? So few it is a disrace. Now compare this to the Bush administration. It goes well beyond Colin and Condi! Watch some C-Span. See thier faces and note their possitions. When you add in their support staff you have dozens of minorities, and not all are Republicans. The Republican party needs to highlight these leaders.

Kerry will be no different from other Democrats. Not one minority is even suggested in a proposed Kerry administration.

Minorities are by nature conservative. We vote for our kind regardless of political party. Bush has a lot of collateral in this area, and could prove a formidable threat to the minority vote for Kerry.

This is not the 2000 election. Minority assumptions then will not play in the comming election. Bush now has a record of putting minorities in high possitions.

Posted by: Agrippa at May 4, 2004 01:13 PM